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Jan 18

Delaying the “Yes”

Standing with hand on face
W. Nicholas Abraham, PhD

A few days ago, I awoke and had the most “out of the box” idea. I wanted to send out an email to 12 friends and ask them to join me at a certain time for a celebration of life THAT NIGHT. I was going to ask 12 people who I felt certain did not know each other and experience the delight of bringing as many worlds together as would be possible.

Good idea? Of course. It was not only going to stretch me but I had no idea as to who if anyone would be free on the spur of the moment.

And then it hit me. I was being impulsive and without pause.

So I hit the pause button within and asked myself what else I had to do that day.

The pile was deep and wide. And the time was limited.

And then it hit me again. This time when it hit, I smiled.

A great idea that I would put off until perhaps next week. The point being that I decided to delay the idea.

And then the third “hit’ came. I had begun as a new resolution to ask myself to consider what it’s going to cost and what I am going to be getting before saying “yes” to any request.

Why not apply the same consideration to saying “yes” to one’s self? Aren’t there times when we need to say to ourselves, “let me come back to that after 24 hours of thought.”

Nuts? Split personality? Talking to myself? Call it what you will, but I found it very calming that not every idea, desire, thought or personal sacrifice need to be affirmed in behavior. Having the desire can be enough in itself.

I can say “yes” to myself. And I can say “I’ll delay that thought for a while.” It’s not a “NO”, just pushing the pause button and coming back to it later.

I was as proud as a peacock.

By the way, that night I read a great book called “The Alchemist.” I plan to have a book study on it Saturday, February 3rd.

And yes, I gave it a good two days before deciding to offer the book study.