The Pledge of Allegiance to One’s Worth

Dr. Nick Abraham, LPC-S

Dr. Nick Abraham

Several years ago, when working with the military in Japan, I was humbled by the Japanese greeting. Whenever I was introduced to someone, he or she would make eye contact and then bow for a few seconds before me as if I were royalty.

I’ve never forgotten the Eastern Bow and often when I meet someone, I want to bow before them and recognize their dignity and inherent value in my presence. I want to notice each and every person as Holy and that the ground upon which they walk has been made holier through their footprint.

When I work with people in my office, I wish to help them see their “higher selves” their greater potential, their best choices and judgments. I wish to enable them to trust themselves, respect themselves and enjoy the limited chances that each day offers us to both love and be loved in return.
These experiences have led me to reflect upon the reality that we indeed are worthy of love, respect and compassion. We are worthy contributors to the fabric of our earthly existence. First and foremost, we are worth even more than we could ever imagine.

The irony is that such a gift comes with challenges and responsibilities that even the strongest of us struggle with living up to. It is often easier to feel unworthy because then, little is expected.
Our challenge is to overcome the noise of unworthiness and allow our worth to drive us. And when tested, like gold, we have the chance to increase our investments in self through the choices we make and the patterns we create.

Therefore, think about these suggestions for 2014 and as always, take what you need and leave the rest.

• When you are drawn into the world of gossip, bow to the world and say “I am worth more and so are you.”
• When you are on the edge of being negative, bow to your better self and say “I am worth more and so are you.”
• When you are comparing the here and now to yesterday, bow to today and say “I am worth more and so are you.”
• When you are ready to order a plate of resentment, hatred and bitterness, bow to forgiveness and say “I am worth more and so are you.”
• When you are tempted to use a substance, bow to the greater pleasure of serenity and say “I am worth more and so are you.”
• When you are stressed and need a quick fix, bow to the gift of tomorrow and say “I am worth more and so are you.”
• When you are focused only on yourself and having a non-stop pity party, bow to the world of service and say “I am worth more and so are you.”
• When you are judged by those who are insecure and looking for a scapegoat, bow to them and say “I am worth more and so are you.”
• When you can’t find a way out of your problems, bow to acceptance and say “I am worth more and so are you.”
• When you hear a voice that says you aren’t good enough, bow to your creator and say “I am worth more and so are you.”
• When the world tells you that you are gay or bisexual and barely tolerable, bow to the gay martyrs who have gone before and say “I am worth more and so are you.”
• When you are tempted to climb the ladder of success at the risk of losing your soul, bow to integrity and say “I am worth more and so are you.”
• When the road ahead is foggy and filled with frightening noises, bow to faith over sight and say “I am worth more and so are you.”
• When your parent says you are hurting her image because you are a lesbian, bow to their fear and say “I am worth more and so are you.”
• When your daughter of 17 is doing drugs and you are inclined to bear the shame of guilt, bow to your dignity and say “I am worth more and so are you.”
• When every door has closed and you are sitting in the darkness of confusion, bow to your solitude and say “I am worth more and so are you.”
• When you feel the need for approval from others, bow to your dignity and say “I am worth more and so are you.”
• When you are accused falsely, bow to truth and say “I am worth more and so are you.”
• When others attack you and call you names, bow to compassion and say “I am worth more and so are you.”
• When you lose a job or find out that someone else has been hired, bow to divine providence and say “I am worth more and so are you.”
• When you’ve lost a loved one and feel that life is meaningless, bow to surrender and say “I am worth more and so are you.”
• When your dreams have turned into ashes and all you have lived for is gone, bow to acceptance and say “I am worth more and so are you.”
• When your eyes get dirty from porn, and your mind gets dusty from alcohol, and your heart gets dirty from using others, bow to brokenness and say “I am worth more and so are you.”
• When you have given up on God, others and even yourself, bow to death and say “ I am worth more and so are you.”

You are worth more than the number of followers on twitter. More than the shoes in your closet. More than the medications you take.

You are worth more than the work you produce. More than the Shopping Network can provide. More than the car you drive, or the house within which you dwell.

You are worth more than the reputation you have, the fears you dwell in and the parties you are invited to.

You are worth more than your salary, your degrees, your anxieties. You are in fact, priceless. And there is no way to calculate your worth in worldly terms because you don’t measure your life by worldly standards. They will come and go, soon to pass away; but your worth is eternal and everlasting.

You are your own best friend and worst enemy. And yes, you are even worth more than that difficult relationship.

You are your most favored companion for you live with yourself 24 hours a day. You are a gift to the world, in all of your multiple pathways and personas, and only you can decide your value.
And even when you do, stop and say “I am worth even more than my own self-worth.”